Humiliation to Appreciation!
What is the order? Humiliation or Appreciation, which is first? Entire cultures, countries and groups have soared to great heights of achievement after realizing humility/appreciation. And of course, this applies to (IOS) – individuated one source beings – us humans.
So which is first? When you come home and to your amazement your house is burnt to the ground and all your possessions are dust – a great wash of humiliation and despair come to you. But preceding that – a very bright but brief moment of –all the appreciations– of your house and possessions.
Sometimes we look back at humbling experiences and find great lessons and joy are to be born from and indeed do evolve from them. If guided improperly, it can instead lead to a lifetime of despair and non-resolution.
…my left shoulder exploded while asleep!
July 21, 2022 my left shoulder exploded into fragments, including the head, during a clenched fist seizure, at 4:00 AM, while I was sleeping – I do not recall, it was later relayed to me. An ambulance was called and my 48 hour stay in the ER being tested and scanned for everything Joe’s trillions will sign for – began.
Why This Happenned?
I learned later that my despair cup had filled to the limit and I had put a sealed lid on it. I learned
this leads to extreme tragedy or rather – counters. As everything we are and can attain are equally measured to All.
Nature, Earth, Hearts, humans — All Equal Measure from OS One Source.
I learned you can look at despair and learn about despair, but you can’t keep despair. Despair
means, the spare. There is no spare you, there is no spare other that can be you, there is only
unique you, plus all the other unique beings out there.
So if you take all the despairs, and put them in a bucket to hold them, you will get a reaction.
Shame, Humiliation = a counter
My shame score resulted in me not being prepared financially for this tragedy, causing an 18 day delay in my repair surgery. I am not the first one to go through this type of delay with this type of injury.
The 18 day delay naturally caused scar tissue to develop after the body starting to heal itself.
Between the loose fragments and my shoulder, the healing-scar tissue developing, the constant discomfort and the inability to sleep, for me personally was 18 days of hell.
Never having gone through surgery or a broken bone or a joint replacement was not adding to
my confidence level. Here is the score of the 18 days. The first 30 hours I have no memory, the second day was pure depression.
The third day I drove 2 hours with one arm, one in distress, to the orthopedist that we had been referred to. He explained the gravity of the situation, the fact that I needed immediate surgery, and the fact that I was not financially prepared to not make that happen.
Starting the 4th day, we found the money through the government, but it caused the surgery date to be delayed until August 8. Every single day, starting from the third day, I found more reasons to live, more reasons to be happy, and more purpose in my life. Although the 18 days were miserable, my growing faith in my fate and in the measurable side of Life and the ‘immeasurable’ side of Life and the love and support of my partner and savior, Nina made Life a Joy amongst the Pain.
8.8 Surgery – survived!
So the big news on 8.8.2022, August the 8th, is that ‘master teacher’ Kevin has happily become a humble student. I find the small life that I was avoiding to be the thing that I was missing.
written 8.8.22 after surgery
“So I live to tell another story on another day. My need for OxyContin should end in 3-7days. I have yet to feel the ending of my nerve block, (it lasted 30 hours!) so I wanted to get these words out before then. There are literally hundreds of people who have turned their heart expression toward me to return to a life of happiness and normality.
As much as I swore this was a reality, it is not the same until it happens to you. Four days before the surgery, I came to full knowledge of this and turned almost all of my attention toward my heart meeting theirs. Just wanted to give those concerned an update because I care about you and I wanted you to know.”
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